Bright just like the stars above me Proud just like my mother planned it Short on all the things I don’t want I’m full of love and longing Take me by the hand and tell me You would take me anywhere Still, cause I don’t want to move a thing In hopes that you’ll fit right into me And all the things I don’t want they’re full Of love and longing Take me by the hand and tell me You would take me anywhere And it goes, its like a come on come on to me And it goes it’s like a come on come on to me You, you say you don’t see any part of me To love in all this mess and I know You take the good and all the bad that comes with me
""I remember the night when we laid in bed, naming all the kids that we hadnt had yet." You once said that this song by Carrie Underwood reminded you of us… I dont know if I am weak or if it is just my heart trying to speak, but I feel the need to vent. Though I am forced to go on with my life without you in it, I still have thougths of you daily. I know that we ended up in this situation because of me being immature, young and dumb. I want to say sorry for this outcome. Having this time apart has been torturous, but I have truly become a better man. I have no clue what you have been up to or how you feel about me, but I hope that not another day goes by and wish that you would just realize that I am a winner and what we had was real, fun, and simply true love. I have always told myselft that if we are meant to be than Jesus will have his hand in us reuniting one day. "
I REALLY REALLY REALLY wish you would call me today. I don’t know why I just fantasize about you and can’t keep the awful things you say and do in the forefront of my mind. We started out great again? Remember that hike? the fun things I planned? the adventures I wanted us to explore…?
You tore it down. On that day in may when you flipped out in my car port and acted like a tantruming child… Hell, even before that when you flipped out because i stopped by a party down the street. You freaked and asked how dare i? But you kept your other boyfriend around on a short leash and that was all supposed to be ok?
You’ve been telling me every week it is over since June. But I didn’t want to believe you. I couldn’t hear you because every week you would also love me and fuck me all weekend long.
You made me psycho. I was fun, free, fit, healthy, balanced. But you and your manipulative ways, your deceptiveness, and your constant yo-yo, never apologizing, never taking accountability… Yes, i became crazy too. Who wouldn’t?
All i wanted was you. All i wanted was us.
I don’t know why i’m so drawn to you, your body, your sex, your sent, your taste… but I am.
I have moved on. I had a great week, I’m already casually dating someone else. Who knew!? lol…
But i told her I had plans today. I told her I was busy.
What am i doing? Im cleaning my house, and i’m anxiously waiting for a call that won’t come. I’m anxiously waiting for my fantasy to show up, to love me, to be nice to me, and to fuck. Cause it’s your body I want. Your lips i desire. You, i’m addicted too.
I wish you could see how much of a role you played in all of this. I know what I did. But this time, it was you. It was your poor communication. It was all of your rules and controlling behavior.
This time it was you who fucked everything up. I’m depressed today. But I’m not sulking. Just wishing. Wishing you had kindness for me, wishing you had compassion for me, wishing for one week you would have shut up and just let us be. Think about it… when you weren’t telling me the rules, when you weren’t lecturing me, when you weren’t insulting me… we had a great fucking time.
I don’t know what happened all of those tuesdays? And you will never communicate it. But it was you and your head that fucked us.
I am good. I am fun. I am extremely affectionate. I am supportive. I am understanding. I am a great person. And I want a match that is deserving of my love.
No Lunch, even if carefully planned to the tee, could surpass today’s impromptu, boundless and purely natural flow. Never. It is not conceivable. Such nice conversation, and a welcome tension, while the fire’s embers silently intensified just to the point of mutual craving for the appetizer. And such an appetizer…better than any dessert could even attempt to claim. But as any good appetizer should finish, it merely primed the palate for yet another level of sensory intensity. I so immersed myself in your fresh, succulent entree and as I savored its endless flavors - letting them flow almost on their own from the tip of my tongue - that I realized my appetite for this unique dish could likely be nothing less than insatiable.
Now my thoughts focus on happy hour. Again we can each eat or drink to any degree whatever most becomes the moment. Again no script could do justice. The key elements are decided: The players confirmed and the setting obvious. But all the anticipation in the world just pales upon mention, to simply trusting that however we may direct our attentions once together, we will easily launch into the stars.
Just some thoughts I could not keep in. Nice to get them aired. ”
refusal to mourn the death, by fire, of a child in london.
Never until the mankind making Bird beast and flower Fathering and all humbling darkness Tells with silence the last light breaking And the still hour Is come of the sea tumbling in harness
And I must enter again the round Zion of the water bead And the synagogue of the ear of corn Shall I let pray the shadow of a sound Or sow my salt seed In the least valley of sackcloth to mourn
The majesty and burning of the child’s death. I shall not murder The mankind of her going with a grave truth Nor blaspheme down the stations of the breath With any further Elegy of innocence and youth.
Deep with the first dead lies London’s daughter, Robed in the long friends, The grains beyond age, the dark veins of her mother, Secret by the unmourning water Of the riding Thames. After the first death, there is no other.